Would you like to improve the odds of success for your marriage? I am sure the answer to this question would be a resounding yes whether you are engaged, newlywed, or you have been married for a while now. Divorce statistics are still pretty high in the U.S. and financial/money problems are still one of the top causes for divorce.
Coming together on your finances will give you a good foundation as you embark on the great adventure of building a life together. Here are some considerations and tips for coming together and staying together with your money.
Be open and honest with each other in the area of finances. Talk about your dreams and your goals as well as your fears. Discuss the mistakes you have made with money before. We all have made mistakes with money, but the important thing is to know what we learned from those mistakes. Discuss what you know and what you don’t know about dealing with money. In your conversations talk about how your respective families handled money because that will have an effect on your view of handling money.
You need to work together on your finances. Your language needs to change from “you” and “me” to “we” and from “yours” and “mine” to “ours”. If you don’t work together you will be working against each other.
Develop a Plan
Now that you have all the proverbial cards on the table, you need to develop a plan to get your finances under control. There is a great deal of information available today. Read a book, take a class, or get help from a financial coach. You need new information and new tools to help you go where you need to go.
A good financial management plan, will include a monthly budget, savings for emergencies, and paying down on debt. There are other elements, but first and foremost the plan should enable you to get control of your money. If you don’t manage your money well, the lack of management will be your downfall.
This is the hardest part of your journey. You can decide to finally talk about money and you can get all kinds of great information to put a great plan on paper. But the degree of commitment to execution is what will determine your level of success. In order to fuel that commitment you need to have long term goals in mind. Having control of your money, building up savings, eliminating debt will give you options you don’t have today.
With your finances under control you could start dreaming again. Your marriage could reach a new level of unity you did not know was possible. You could really change the financial destiny of your family for generations to come. You could give and help others like never before.
Change can be difficult but sometimes it is absolutely necessary. There will be a price to pay to go from where you are today to where you want to go tomorrow. Only you can decide to pay that price. Is it worth it to you? Is the success of your marriage and the destiny of your family important enough for you to change your ways?
“Marriages are not static. You are either pulling each other closer or the world is pulling you apart.”